Colleen Redman

COLLEEN REDMAN is a blogger (looseleafnotes.com) who writes and photographs for The Floyd Press newspaper. Her poetry has most recently been published in Artemis Journal, Floyd County Moonshine and The Front Porch Review. In 2018 she was a featured reader at the Little River Poetry Festival in Floyd, reading from her collection Packing a Suitcase for the Afterlife, published in 2017 by Finishing Line Press. Her blog bio reads: “Whenever I don’t know what it is I’m doing and it borders on wasting my time, I call it research.”

Losing Poetry

 

It’s like falling asleep on the subway and missing my stop

Like the first day of kindergarten when my mother drives me to school

She forgets to tell me she’s going to leave me there

and leaves without saying goodbye

 

It’s the first day of kindergarten and everyone but me

knows how to write their name

I’m scared that Mr. MacGregor is going to catch Peter Rabbit

and I don’t know how to be quiet at rest time

 

It’s like I don’t want to finish the memoir I’m reading

because I think the author is going to die

and it’s not like when someone dies in a book of fiction

You cry but you know it’s not real

 

But the first time I watched someone die in a movie

after I was with my brother Danny when he died

I sobbed like it was real and was someone I knew

Russell Crowe as the Gladiator

 

It’s like being in Europe with the wrong kind of money

My plugs don’t fit into outlets

I have a car but the keys are locked in it

I don’t speak the language

and my cell phone is locked and won’t work

 

It’s like French class in elementary school

and there is no French translation for my name

So my teacher uses my middle name

I’m embarrassed to be called Ann

 

I’m embarrassed by my ugly red shoes

I scruff them up in the playground at recess

hoping they’ll get old fast

and my mother will have to buy me a new pair

 

It’s like nighttime and I’m home alone

I hear a mouse but don’t know where it is

I put out poison that kills the mouse

but it leaves a bad smell when it dies

 

I hope it’s a mouse

and not something bigger

It’s the first day of kindergarten and I learn to write my name

because somebody shows me how

She dies in the end as we all do

I cry for her children